Growing Older...

Recently I spent a few days with my parents helping them with some legal matters and cleaning out a storage unit. Over the three days I became acutely aware that my parents were now the “old” generation and I was next in line. My grandparents have passed away, my aunts and uncles are having more health issues and my parents are not getting around as fast as they used to. Time has a way of being the great equalizer. Once robust and energetic people walk slower, forget more details, take more medication and take more naps. As I contemplated the process of getting older I realized in life there are so many transition seasons. And if we are not careful we will focus on the next season while missing the lessons and appreciating our current situation. When I was in elementary school I couldn’t wait until junior high. Then it was looking forward to high school and driving, then college, then getting a “real” job, then getting married. Each of these was a season of transition: transition in thinking, responsibility, relationships, experience and sometimes location. How often do we forget to “live today” because we are so looking forward to the next season? How often we miss the orchids because we are only looking for the rose. I don’t know what transition you have just gone through or what transition season you are in the midst of, but let me encourage you to relax and enjoy the ride. If you are in a transition, let me be so bold as to encourage you to keep walking and learn to appreciate the process. There may be strong emotions attached to this season. Be careful to allow yourself sufficient time to gain perspective on the changes you are going through because right now you may not be able to see the good parts of this season. There’s an old saying that “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” Right now you may be in the trees so you cannot see the beauty and majesty of the forest. If you have recently come through a transition take some time and contemplate the emotional roller coaster you were on and then list two positive things that came about as a result of this change. Being honest with ourselves and with the situation is important. Too many individuals want to discount the harshness of the season or ignore the emotional trauma of the transition. Accepting these while not assigning blame is an important component of processing the transition and getting the most from it. King Whitney Jr, the President of Personnel Laboratory Inc. was speaking to a sales meeting in the summer of 1967. He communicated an incredible perspective on this when he said “Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.” Today, as you face your transition, may you have confidence in the midst of the turmoil. May you have strength to endure and peace to walk through this season.

Is there no hope...

As I read the story on Fox News the details were chilling. One man-a husband, a father, a son-caught in a transition that he didn’t know how to navigate. In California a medical technician and his wife recently lost their jobs. Overcome by the financial pressures and seeing no where to turn this man did the unthinkable…he killed his five children, his wife and turned the gun on himself. At the bottom of his suicide note he wrote, “oh lord, my God, is there no hope for a widow’s son?” Hope…this man had no hope. He had no perspective. And evidently he had no one to walk with him through this season of transition. This story highlights some of the most crucial issues surrounding a transition season:
•Something to hold onto
•Something to look forward to
•Someone to tell you that “it’s OK, you are going to make it.”
•Someone to walk with you through the “valley of the shadow of death.”
Yes, at some point in our lives each of us will face the demons in the valley. Each of us will be challenged to endure the dark night. And in the midst of the darkness much of what we believe, most of our assumptions about life and many of our expectations and dreams will be cast upon the alter as we sacrifice them (or at least be willing to leave them on the alter) in order to move through the season and on to the next mountain top. Transitions are critical intersections in life. They present opportunities and choices. Like a busy intersection in Atlanta, New York, Chicago or Los Angeles, a transition season can be a dangerous place. You can turn right or left, stop or proceed through the intersection. BUT if you fail to read the signs, pay attention to the traffic flow or ignore traffic signals these intersections can be lethal. What can we learn from this chilling story and commentary on the pressures of life and the state of our society? First, always have a dream and never give up your hope. There will be dark days. There will be times when our dreams are shattered on the rocks of reality. But the shattering process serves as a sifter, helping us refine our dreams and maybe focus on new ones. Second, we need friends…the kind of friends who will walk with us in the good times and the bad times. And finally, we need to be able to see beyond our immediate reality, grit our teeth and keep walking into our future.

The Transfer of Power

The headline read “Obama takes power.” As I watched the swearing in of the new President I was struck by the speed of this transition. At the beginning of the ceremony Barak Obama was the Senator from Illinois. He had influence but really no "power." Two minutes later, he was the leader of these great United States and arguably the most powerful man in the free world. WOW! Can you imagine? To go from JUST influence to power and authority in about two minutes seems to be an incredibly fast transition. In our lives, seasons of transition may take more time than two minutes. But our lives can change for the good…or the bad in less than two minutes. A car accident, an earthquake, an unexpected job promotion, divorce papers, a special phone call and a myriad of other events can shake our world and drive us to the edge of elation or oblivion. What makes the difference and how do we deal with our transition seasons? Certainly dreams and years of hard work, training, diligence and building relationships help prepare us for the promotion. Some transitions are wonderful. But it’s the unexpected transitions in life that throw us a curve ball. How do you prepare for a transfer of power? When you “get” the power that’s a little easier to accept. When you “lose” the power, in the case of a divorce, death or a layoff, these seasons are harder to prepare for and harder to deal with. Yet the process is similar. In each type of transition we have to “learn” how to live with this new set of circumstances. The players may have changed but the game of life continues and we have to be engaged. Sometimes the playing field changes, but again, the game of life goes on and we have to learn to play on the new field. As you consider your transition season remember that everyone goes through many different transitions during this journey we call life. It is up to each individual to determine HOW they will move through their transition. Our attitude will determine how we move on to the next season. Our mindset will dictate how we enter the next season after this transition. And preparation is an important ingredient for any transition season.

The Winds of Change

Today we have a leadership change in our country. Whether you are a Republican or a Democrat, black or white, this marks a significant event that will long be remembered in the annuls of history. As the Bush administration closes and the Obama administration begins a new dawn has risen in our country. The winds of change are blowing. In the economy, politics, communication, business and social outreach, there is a new current running through our culture. Some would say this is a good and long over-due change. Others would vehemently disagree. Yet all would have to agree, it is change. As these winds of change blow having a solid base of relationships is vital to your successful navigation of this transition season. How did a no-name junior senator without a track record obtain the highest elected office in the world? Relationship…bottom line he connected with more people. He engaged people in conversation and connected with them on a personal level through email, text messages, phone conferences and personal appearances. Communication was the difference. In your season of change it is no different. There must be two-way communication as you connect with people. And you must not connect with just anyone. Connect and communicate with people you trust, people you can bear your soul to. People who will tell you the truth. People who will give you perspective. People who will help you chart out a path to your future. People who will fight for you and with you. People who will defend you. People who will stand with you in the most difficult of times. For some this is a spouse or family member. For others it is a long-time friend or confidant. As you consider your life and the journey you are on, remember to build some relationship equity BEFORE you enter your next transition season. And be that kind of friend for others who are going through their own season of change. Yes the winds of change blow all the time. Some times you are not affected. Other times you are forced into the midst of hurricane force winds that knock you down. Be sensitive to others in transition. Be aware of your own seasons of change. And finally, be ready to engage the relationship factor so you don’t isolate yourself during these seasons.